Trust me, it’s complicated

"I trust her completely." "I don't trust what they are telling us." "Trust me on this one."

We often talk about trust in relation to the people we live and work with and the organisations we belong to. We recognise when trust is plentiful and its absence is felt acutely. It surfaces everywhere, from formal discussions about psychological safety to passing conversations in the corridor. But how much influence do we really have over the trust around us?

With the glorious spring weather we're having, I've borrowed a few gardening metaphors to help dig into it (groan, apologies in advance!...).

How do we grow trust?

Trust is not as straightforward as it seems. When we dig a little deeper, there are two types. Affective trust is about the feels: how we feel about each other, including whether we feel respected and safe enough to say what we think. Cognitive trust is about evidence, built on what we’ve seen people do and whether we can count on them to deliver.

We tend to focus on the first, the feel-good kind, but research suggests the second is often more important, and the two are linked. We usually need some evidence that people can do the job before we feel safe opening up to them. As that sense of safety grows, we give people more benefit of the doubt when things go wrong, so each type of trust helps the other grow.

It helps to tell them apart, because if we treat trust as one thing we can fix the wrong problem. A team lunch won’t help if people have little faith in each other’s ability to deliver, and another email about expectations won’t make it any safer to speak up.

Trust is also dynamic, it’s not a set and forget. Whichever kind we’re working on, it needs ongoing care. A plant with deep roots can cope with a dry spell, while a new seedling wilts within days. In the same way, a long working relationship can usually absorb the odd missed deadline, but in a new team a single let-down can do damage.

And just as a plant depends on the soil it grows in, trust depends on its surroundings. The way the wider organisation shares information and keeps its promises, along with the cultural norms people bring with them, all shape how well trust can grow.

Can we fast-track trust?

As the Dutch proverb goes, trust arrives on foot and leaves on horseback. Whether we can speed it up depends on which type we mean. Affective trust is a slow grower, built through many experiences of being listened to and supported.

Cognitive trust can form much faster, which is why it is sometimes called swift trust. It is quick to sprout, though slower to put down roots. We can trust someone new if we have good evidence about them, perhaps because we have seen them handle a tricky meeting well, or a colleague has told us they always deliver. The more visible that evidence is, the faster trust can form.

What this means for leaders

When trust is low, everything slows down. People may not share ideas or feedback, decisions start to get second-guessed and you end up doing work you could hand over, which turns you into a bottleneck.

Which of these you notice depends on which type of trust is low.  If affective trust is low, people may stay quiet in meetings and say what they think behind closed doors. If cognitive trust is low, you may find yourself micromanaging or holding on to tasks you could delegate. As a leader, you work through relationships inside and outside the organisation has its own mix. With some people the affective trust is there but the cognitive trust isn’t, and with others it’s the reverse, so knowing which one is low tells you what to work on.

The two are still linked, though. If a team member keeps missing deadlines, it first affects your cognitive trust in them, and over time it starts to affect how you feel about working with them too.

Three things to try

Build affective trust. Think of a relationship where affective trust is low, and catch up with that person with no agenda other than asking how things are going. Be present and listen.

Build cognitive trust. Pick one thing you said you would do in the past fortnight and get it done or give a detailed update, or both. Providing evidence that you deliver grows cognitive trust.

Build both. Ask someone for help with something they are capable of doing. It shows you trust them, which builds affective trust, and gives them a chance to show what they can do, which builds cognitive trust. If you take the risk, others are more likely to follow.

So, next time you’re thinking about trust, ask yourself which type you mean. Knowing the difference is your pathway to building good relationships and more effective teams.

References and further reading

• Capiola, A., Baxter, H.C., Pfahler, M.D., Calhoun, C.S. & Bobko, P. (2020). Swift trust in ad hoc teams: A cognitive task analysis of intelligence operators in multi-domain command and control contexts. Journal of Cognitive Engineering and Decision Making, 14(3), 218–241

• Lawrence, P., Hill, S., Priestland, A., Forrestal, C., Rommerts, F., Hyslop, I. & Manning, M. (2019). The Tao of Dialogue. Routledge