You got the job. So why does leadership feel so hard?

Leadership Transitions

You worked hard to become an expert. Then you get promoted, and the expertise that got you there starts working against you. Most people are not aware this happens.

Knowledge has been your currency if you've built a career as a subject matter expert. That knowledge has bought you credibility and respect, and elevated you up the org chart. Because this has been your strength, there's a tendency to keep doing what's always worked.

Flexing your expertise can feel good at first. It can give you confidence, provide a sense of security, and you might feel you're helping. But leading as the expert sends a message to your team that you don't need their input, or worse, that you don't value it. Over time, they tend to stop bringing you ideas or challenges, and instead they become side conversations behind closed doors. And that's a real loss, because your team holds more knowledge than one person alone ever could: stakeholder relations, past learnings, invisible norms, subject matter knowledge built over years.

And while you might be getting a sinking feeling reading this, it's not entirely your fault this happens. Stepping into leadership, most people inherit a hub-and-spoke structure, where everything runs through the leader. The more that happens, the more the team learns to depend on you rather than think for themselves. On top of that, systems and processes that tend to reward individual effort over collective results, and it's a hot mess.

Leading differently in that environment takes more than good intentions. It means actively changing how information moves, how decisions get made and who gets credit for what. Some of that is personal, how you show up, what you model, what you reward. Some of it is structural, being willing to challenge the systems you've inherited.

It gets worse before it gets better

Challenging an established pattern can feel uncomfortable at the start. When you start asking questions instead of giving answers, it can feel like wearing the wrong shoes. Your team may even look surprised and a bit hesitant, and ask if this is a phase, like the exuberance around standing desks.

This doesn't mean you should give up. Change often feels mostly awkward, sometimes embarrassing, and that's absolutely normal. To transition through it, it helps to let go of the pressure to know everything, and think instead about the type of leader you want to be.

The pay-off

People who make this shift usually describe feeling less exposed, not more. You’re released from being the bottleneck. Decisions are made using the resources of the wider team, giving greater perspective, and teams grow because they're learning and taking ownership, instead of looking to you for the answers.

None of your expertise goes to waste. It's still what helps you understand your team's work, read the context you're operating in, and make well-informed decisions under pressure. What changes is how much of the day-to-day thinking you hand over to the people around you.

When you take off the well-worn expert hat, it's better for you, better for your team, and better for building the kind of organisation that can adapt to whatever comes next.

Three things to try

Ask before you answer. When someone brings you a problem, try "What's the real challenge here for you?" before offering your view. Do it consistently and notice what starts to change in how your team brings things to you.

Redesign one meeting. Pick the meeting where you do most of the talking and restructure it so the team does. Change the agenda format, open with a question, give people time to contribute before you weigh in.

Move the credit to your team. When good work is done,  name the people whose thinking made it happen. Publicly, specifically, consistently. Teams that feel seen as contributors think harder and speak up more.

References

Bridges, W. & Bridges, S. (2017). Transitions: Making sense of life's changes (3rd ed.). Da Capo Press.

Bungay Stanier, M. (2016). The coaching habit: Say less, ask more & change the way you lead forever. Toronto, ON: Box of Crayons Press

Isaacs, W. (1999). Dialogue: The art of thinking together. Crown Business.

McKinsey & Company & LeanIn.Org. (2024). Women in the workplace: 10th anniversary report. McKinsey & Company.

Lawrence, P. (2014). Leading Change: How Successful Leaders Approach Change Management. Kogan Page.

Schein, E. (2013). Humble inquiry: The gentle art of asking instead of telling. Berrett-Koehler.